Tuesday, September 29, 2015

What Comparison Should We Be Making

Sometimes, things are overwhelming on social media sites. The news feed is often filled with stuff like...

1. People's vacations

2. Cute kids or pets

3. Politics

4. Delicious food

5. News of catastrophes from all around the world

You get it...sometimes, it is overwhelming and sometimes it makes you hate the timeline altogether because....you're not vacationing, your kids are throwing tantrums, your dinner turned out a disaster, you don't understand head or tail of what is happening in the political scene or you know someone affected by a catastrophe.

It doesn't make me feel better about myself but whenever I look at pictures like THESE, it grounds and humbles me. When I compare my life and timeline to this, I know I am working this whole 'life' thing pretty Okay.


Monday, September 28, 2015

Single Parent All The Way?

This is one of the most honest parenting article that I have read in a long time....and I follow quite a few similar sites with similar articles. Maybe it just struck a chord with me.

Maybe, just maybe, I will also become a single mother forever. (read this article from Babble.com)

While some of my friends are in hot pursuit for their other half, actively hitting everywhere in search of their significant soul mate, I just don't feel the urgency. I am sure my stance have been criticized or laughed and joked about (to their credit, they did it to my face, I don't want to know what people say behind my back, anyway) because I have not utilized my 'tools' (you are allowed to think dirty here) for some time.

Is THAT the priority, my question is? You're going to look for a man so that you can.....what? LOL

Believing in an unbelievable love?
It's not that I do not want love or believe in love anymore. I do, oh boy, you don't know how much love I am capable of throwing out...but you will just have to spend some time tearing down my walls. But once you are through those walls, come here, baybee...

This terrifies my mother in particular, wondering who will be taking care of me when my children leave the nest. Am I going to be all alone, crying in the corner of the house, never eating at the right time, never doing my work or become a social defunct?

I don't think so, is all I can say. I am going to stalk my children, wherever they are going to be, that's the plan. LOL

Independent and selfish
People who don't know me or don't take the time to get to know me will easily think that I am overly independent and selfish. Maybe, maybe not.

I am happily parenting my teen boys 
Listen, I have been doing this for more than a decade and have never really gotten any help (except during the kids' early years) running this whole thing. Just have to do a million things at the same time. And some ignorant bloke will think 'you disappeared from the face of the earth 'read: party scene' after the birth of your kids'.


Even to this very day, my kids are not welcomed at dinners where there are singletons. Give me a solution to THAT and I will come out to your party. Oh, wait. It's too late.

Issues? Sure!
Yes, I have trust issues too simply because...well, think about it for a second. Through the years that I have dated and married, I always pick the guy I gelled with the least with the notion that I can fix them. Then I find out I can't fix anyone if there's nothing to fix so, I don't have a stellar record of picking the guy who treats me like a Princess over the guy who is brooding in the corner like James Dean. LOL

Winner: Always the bad guy.

Lackadaisical attitude
I clean up OK but I don't do the whole makeup, off-shoulder dresses, diamond studded high heels, concealers and fake eyelashes kind of thing anymore. I just don't anymore and if I do, it means SOMETHING BIG's about to go down. Or my mom set me up.

I think if someone's out there and looking for a soul to connect with, connect with my soul first. Thereafter, I can dress up as Cat Woman, Ella from Frozen, Black Widow, nurse, policewoman or President Obama all you want.

OK, the President Obama thing...maybe not. It's a joke, OK?

I just don't want to do so many things to hide the real me from everyone anymore. I feel good when I dress up, of course, and a layer of makeup can boost my confidence level by quite a bit and I feel like having a little fun.

The thing is that I learned how to be confident without them and now, they seem trivial to me. I've been out of the house in XXL men's pants, vomit in my hair and smelt like leaking breastmilk before, remember that.

So, I don't know. Maybe one day but not today.


Saturday, September 26, 2015

Creative Kitchen - Chicken Char Siew, Modify, They Say

Ate a darn late lunch in the afternoon and it wasn't the healthy kind either....had Subway. Well, it IS one of the healthiest and freshest fast-food there is out there. =)

Was a little out of ideas so, decided to bend the rules a little. Had a little bit of char siew marinade in the fridge but did not have pork. Originally, we are supposed to have 'char siew' pork right who no one ever said that you can't use other types of meats so....

So, used chicken breasts for the char siew and it was delicious but had to add a mix of oyster sauce and soya sauce because there wasn't enough marinade and it, in itself, is rather bland.

Stir fried some baby bok choi (I think lah, I am never very good with the names for vegetables) with garlic and there you have it, done, dinner.

Anyway, it's been a really haze day over here in Malaysia so, I hope you have a better (breathing) time than us over here wherever you are.


Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Prompt - Describe My Favorite Drink

Non-alcoholic? When I was young or now? lol

Anyway, my favorite drink happens to be none other than (no, not wine) coffee. If I were to venture a little further for the sake of my all-encompassing need to encompass everything liquid into this category, I would include soup too, actually.

Generally, speaking, I love all types of drinks except fizzy drinks. Well, I like them but I don't allow myself to drink too many within a single day.

There are very few people in my life who don't drink coffee and one of them is my mom. She could be drinking coffee early in the morning and STILL can't sleep at night. God knows why. But that is the stance she has taken since forever and she will stick to it. One of my best of friends don't drink coffee either....come to think of it, I've never asked her why. =)

There's something about the aroma, the piping hot liquid, the sweetness and (depending on the type of coffee, of course) sometimes bitterness in the drink that is always a bit mystical to me. Like, how can this hot, aromatic and bitter thing be ANY good for my morning and....VIOLA...the morning is better already!

If I get good work done (the result is sometimes extreme sleepiness), I reward myself with another cup around tea time. Or I just give myself permission to have tea, instead. Whilst it was perfectly fine for me, as a young adult, to liberally consume 6 cups of coffee a day (and sometimes, I can survive on all-coffee-eff-water all day - I know, it's amazing), I don't go past the 2-a-day limit I impose on myself.

But yup, that's my favorite drink. Coffee.


Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Food, Food, Food - It's All About The Food

It's really quite amazing the amount of money you will save when you make your own food at home. There was one time we (when I say we, it means the 3 of us) ate Vietnamese food for like more than RM100+, one time eating pricey burger and fries for RM80+ and then worse yet, I (as in me, alone, just me, one person eating with friends) had Korean for RM80+, ONE PERSON. It was hellaloadoffood but still.

Yeah, we can opt for cheaper options, obviously, like our favorite mixed rice or our kopitiam and thank goodness for them too. It is the school holidays right now so, how many kopitiams can we visit before we get bored of them? How many stalls do they have before we have tried them all, right?

Eating out IS always going to be expensive and that is why I feel like people should try to cook their own meals more often.

I made days' worth of porridge yesterday and it is right now in the fridge. I have salted eggs, and some fermented vegetables, fish, canned food and some stuff that I can eat together with the porridge. What can I say? I am a porridge kinda gal. I've always loved porridge, some people might think it odd since porridge is often associated with 'sick people food'. LOL.

Anyway, I cheated a little yesterday, with bacon and sausages. The kids loved it and I made it with buttered corn and carrots and fried eggs. They said it was a good combo and I guess that's all that matters, right?


Thursday, September 17, 2015

Sept 16 Rally Made Me Feel Unwanted and Orphaned

I accept the fact that there will always be differences in opinion, we all cannot share the same view but can we all agree to NOT hate? I don't want to be sensitive but how can I help feeling hurt? We fight so hard for a place and sharing of bond among all Malaysians, yet...

Literally, as I watched the woman call some of my ancestors 'pigs' and 'immigrants', I was befuddled but it is what it is, isn't it? But most of all, tears welled up in my eyes and my heart cried. So, this is it?

Do you know what it feels like to not belong anywhere on this planet? Ask the refugees. In fact, I see how some Malaysians are like those refugees. We have no place here, nor a place there. The unwanted. I know many Malays who are sensible, reasonable, loving, accepting and caring, I see them and at one point, I refused to let that one woman or that one man asking the reporter to 'go back to China' taint the rest of the Malays I know because they are not one. They are not the same.

I see some writers, politicians and bloggers standing up for the others. I will keep my heart and eyes trained on these people because they are our last hope.

I won't deny paving a back door right now for my kids. I am trying to find a way to get them out of this place we call 'home' because I am stuck here for, presumably, the rest of my life. They don't have to. At some point in time, they might come back but if they don't, who can blame them? They might want to stay here, who knows.

But here's where we have arrived at in Malaysia. Unwanted and orphaned. Have you ever watched films or movies whereby orphans stand at the window of dilapidated orphanages yearning for parents to give them a home? Sometimes, it looks bleak like that. You watch other children play in playgrounds wishing there was a place for you. But there isn't.

And we go to bed with that hope every night.

We look toward the moderate and loving Malays with a glimmer of hope in our hearts. I can tell you most non-Malay citizens don't want to or don't have dreams to be anything bigger than just to make a decent living in this country. We just want to survive and not take away anyone's rights. In fact, we want to strengthen EVERYONE's rights so that Malaysia is a better place. I, for one, don't have a chance in hell to be anything big, a Dato' or Tan Sri or Minister or whatever. Such a ridiculous idea. I just want to give everything I have got to help contribute towards a better country.

Not take away anyone's rights.

How dare we? What place do we have? Isn't our place just in the background anyway? Just work hard and do your thing.

And even then, we are reminded again and again that we are trying to usurp someone's power or rights? I don't get it.

I really don't.

Does it have to take a picture like this to touch my heart? The police force standing there protecting Malaysia's version of Chinatown, Petaling Street?

Source: Malay Mail Online Facebook

I apologize for feeling so much despair and disappointment today but allow me, because this is what it feels like to be told you are not wanted. Let me wallow for a while and as always, I might feel a little better tomorrow, or next week or next month. 

Will I stop fighting? I don't think so, but who knows?


Saturday, September 12, 2015

Handling Social Media Responses

Take me back 8 years before this and I would say that managing a social media account is a breeze. It's a walk in the park! All you need to do is to find content, develop them, post them and just viola! That's it!

But what Ann Tran wrote about handling social media is important.
"Keyboard courage" has some people posting cruel things they would otherwise not say to someone's face.  Hiding behind a screen is not a shield.  
These people are armed with keyboard-shield courage and will not hesitate to put it out there, throw it in your face, threaten all types of ill-mannered intentions and actions and promise harm in all forms.

After all, what can YOU do about it, it is THEIR right to do so with THEIR account(s) and whilst this is true, I think some behavior borders on bullying and we need better moderation and mediating methods.

For social media and if you are a large brand name, as Ann Tran points out, remaining neutral, professional, removing emotions and focusing on progress is the way to go. Even when the comments posted by people are cruel and sometimes childish. The only way to remove the power of the negative comment is to acknowledge that there is a problem and work on solving it instead of throwing word bombs at each other.

Remember, the Paradigm Mall Facebook incident? How can Malaysians forget such a massive social media fail, right?

Anyway, you can read about Ann Tran's writing for Entrepreneur.com is a useful reminder for those who are working on social media sites. Even if you already know all the tips, it might serve as a good reminder.

Have a splendid Saturday night!

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Me and My Take on Religion

I believe in right and wrong and sometimes, can be quite religious but to me, this is something between me and my maker and no one else. So, whatever deeds that I do and don't do, I will be held accountable or credit will be given accordingly.

What I don't understand is why some people feel compelled to impose their own beliefs onto others or rather...cannot find the fine line between doing their job and sticking to your guns. If it is something that is not going to do anyone harm...for example, your boss asks you to stick a knife into your colleague's butt, then I think your boss, who is paying you a salary (or in charge thereof) should be allowed to tell you what to do. As long as it doesn't violate anyone else's life, right?

But some people think differently. Ah well...I hope it ends well for everyone involved.

The above image was taken from Facebook and is largely meant as a joke, is my guess. Not meant to be taken seriously...just in case someone decides that it is offensive.


p.s. To each his or her own on this, OK? Good night!

Monday, September 7, 2015

Zelda Williams' Statement about Depression

I read on social media today that Zelda Williams, the daughter of funny-man, Robin Williams, made a 'powerful' statement about mental illness.

I did not find the statement any more powerful than what someone would have said to me or others who are/may be suffering from mental illness. It should be the norm. It is 'us', human beings, who have decided to make statements like these 'powerful'. It is because we think it is 'abnormal' to be suffering from depression that makes these statements unnecessary 'powerful'.

In my personal opinion, a whole lot of people have suffered from depression and mental illness at one point in their lives.

The first time you got dumped. The first loss of a friend or family. The time you lost your job. The time your friend snubbed you. The time you quarreled with your best-friend. The time when someone misunderstood you. The time a relative called you a 'bitch' or 'slut'. The time when you got into an accident. The time you got drunk for 8 days in a row because you were trying to fit in. The time you flunk your drivers license for the third time.

Whatever the situation was, we have been there. If you have not, then congratulations, I wish I were you. Maybe not.

Truth is, life is hard too, for me, because trying to raise two kids on my own is bloody hard and I had Xanax in my pocket. When they were young and a friend committed suicide, I thought I was close to the edge too.

I am not ashamed to admit this because....a lot of people's been there. A lot more than those who admitted so. Why hide? Because people think you are crazy? It is NOT crazy, it is human.

The moment we stop judging others and ourselves for being human is the day that we see all the troubles in our lives and go 'Ahhhh....I see....that was hard' and think to ourselves, 'Today was tough, I am going to take a nap and maybe I will feel better' instead of seeing all the judgement people throw your way.

Nothing is permanent in life, sadness included.

I hope to see the day that Zelda Williams' words is a sort of 'encouragement' instead of 'powerful statement'. It is akin to reaching out to hold your friend's hand saying 'It's OK'.

Have a fab Monday!

Image Source: Aniko Sunshine

Friday, September 4, 2015

Behind The Scenes, Things We Don't See Online On Social Media

You know people always, instead of posting pictures of themselves, post couple profile pictures? They even have joint Facebook accounts and stuff.

While I am absolutely thrilled about their happy union and I am not being a mean or bitter person but I believe there is always another side to the coin.

No matter how many wefie you post on Facebook, there is always another story behind that super happy picture and people don't post those unhappy pictures of themselves online.

It is so different from when I first started blogging. There were happy stuff, there were unhappy stuff, there were scary stuff....everything is out there. With Facebook and social media, things are just so....fluffy. LOL. Sorry, I don't have another word for it at the moment.

I have also evolved because I have seen absolutely crazy-for-each-other-I-will-take-a-bullet-to-the-brain-for-you people who suddenly announce that they were divorcing. Out of the blue. Just like that. What the hell happened, right?

So, I no longer idolize people's couple pictures or feel envy for them anymore. Yes, I used to. There are happy people who continuously post pictures of themselves up on Facebook but I scroll past them now. Because, reality is....we can't see behind the scenes, behind what they show us on their glorified pictures.


p.s. The picture could be the other way around, of course. Have a splendid weekend!